


CRUNCH

by xanderbot13



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, Leaf - Freeform, Limbo, crunch - Freeform, feral androids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 00:29:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21329236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanderbot13/pseuds/xanderbot13
Summary: Stinky eats a leaf 🍁
Comments: 14
Kudos: 10





	CRUNCH

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kiloueka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiloueka/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Limbo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13952550) by [Kiloueka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiloueka/pseuds/Kiloueka). 

> Stinky’s a good boi and he lovs the CRONCH

It’s an awful day in your huge pit, just like any other stupid day. Every day is an awful day for you. But that’s no surprise, because you are an ugly, stinking, broken android. 

Your name is 9S, but everyone calls you Stinky, because as was previously mentioned, you STINK. You hate every other stupid bastard called 9S and have a great variety of interests. Your hobbies include wallowing in your misery, crying black goo, hissing at your snake friend called Stringy who sometimes comes hang out with you, playing with pinecones, and sleeping on the dirty ground.

What will you do?

Currently, you are in a very dire situation. You are dead. So, there isn’t much to do. Maybe if you weren’t such an asshole, the others wouldn’t be so wary of you and you could go play with them, but you are hellbent on pushing everyone away and isolating yourself. Except Stringy of course. Stringy can stay. 

However, Stringy is not around at the moment, so no fun hissing games today. You sigh and decide to lie on your back on the ground. It is a very slow and painful process, as your entire body is breaking down and oozing black goo from every orifice, but eventually you manage to do it. You’re finally lying on your back, and now you stare up at the weird sky above. You’re bored. And extremely lonely. You let your eyelids slowly droop as you start to fall asleep, lulled by the sound of the breeze. 

Suddenly, something falls right on your face and you jump and scramble around, running from the horrendous threat. All your joints creak, your limbs ache, and you spill goo everywhere, but it doesn’t matter because there is an INTRUDER in your territory. Finally, you hide in a nearby bush and peak out. 

You scan the area and locate the object of your irritation. A big, red, stupid leaf. Or, you think it might be red, because truthfully, all you see is fucking grey. Your pupils widen as you hiss at it and stare at it with great concentration. Ignoring all the pain sensor alarms going off in your head, you crouch down on all fours and calibrate your trajectory by wiggling your butt. You keep staring at it for a moment, and when you’re finally ready, you POUNCE. 

Your fast movement blows the leaf a few inches off the ground, and you take this opportunity to trap it between your hands. The leaf is now stuck in one of your claws and you are very annoyed by this, so you desperately try to shake it off, fucking up your right forearm in the process. 

Now your forearm is limp and you have a big, potentially red leaf stuck to your claw. You have never been this annoyed. This is the worst day ever. You scowl at the stupid leaf and manage to lift your upper arm up as your forearm dangles around with the leaf still stuck to it. You stretch out your neck towards it and catch it with your teeth, tearing it off your claw. 

You freeze for a second, deciding on how to proceed. There are already enough leaves around here, you don’t need another one, especially not one the size of your face. As you’re thinking, you idly start nibbling on said leaf. It’s crunchy. Your taste sensors are barely functional anymore, but you sense a slight bitter taste. You’re not exactly a huge fan of it, but you quite enjoy the crunchy sound it makes when your teeth bite down on it, so you slowly suck the leaf into your mouth and munch on it. It goes CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH. The sound echoes in your head. You finally get to the tip of the leaf, and then it disappears into your mouth and is gone forever as you swallow it. 

Your eyes widen with a tiny gleam in your pupils. You are now in desperate need of more crunch, so you scan the area and locate the best piles of leaves around. 

Good for you. You now have the perfect plan for the rest of the day, until you get bored again. Go forth! Seek the crunch!


End file.
